I don't understand how I can feel this way...I was sooo happy, God it was nice, so nice to be happy... And now it is gone and I don't know why...

I need so badly to cry...

I can't do it... I never could

Unless....

I could make it happen... no one is here.

I could cry if I wanted to. Blood tears are as good as any.

I can't believe I fooled myself into thinking I was worthy of this.

Of happiness

Of him

I can't handle this

I am pulling away again

God I wish I could make it stop

I'm gonna miss him so fucking much.